2008 June

Chuck Norris Facts

I’m quite aware that the Chuck Norris jokes are getting way old and that the majority of people out there have moved on to bigger and better things to laugh about. I too had nearly purged my memory of every cheesy Chuck Norris joke that I’d heard over the past two years. I was just about to delete the final Chuck memory when I accidentally discovered a website containing a few Chuck Norris jokes that I’d not encountered before. These choice bits were just ripe enough for me to share.

I didn’t write these jokes. They were taken from this website (http://cinema-pedia.com/chuck-norris-facts.html)

Anyway, on with the goods…. Here are 15 Chuck Norris Facts.
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1. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
2. Chuck Norris was originally cast as Jack Bauer in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
3. Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
4. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.
5. Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.
6. Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.
7. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
8. If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don’t ask him for his three-hole-punch.
9. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.
10. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
11. Chuck Norris won’t ever get a heart attack, because a heart knows better than to attack Chuck Norris.
12. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
13. Chuck Norris does not “teabag” the ladies. He “Potato-Sacks” them.
14. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
15. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

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I think that #’s 3 and 5 take the cake.

Ben Heck

Ben Heck is known for turning gaming systems into laptops. His work is impressive. I just spent the past hour learning how he turned an xbox 360 into a laptop. I must say that I admire his work.

Here’s a video of an xbox 360 laptop.

He’s also made a ps3 laptop.

Oh, and did I mention he’s made a Wii laptop as well?

POWERTHIRST 2

sleeping on the couch

I’ve come to the realization that I’m going to be spending all of my summer nights sleeping on the couch in the living room. I’ve already been sleeping on it for the past week. I’m sleeping on the couch because my bedroom is too hot for comfort. This is bad news considering it’s only the middle of June. It’s going to get much hotter in July and August.

but it’s not so bad…

As far as couches go, this couch is tits when it comes to comfort. It’s decently oversized so I don’t have to scrunch up into any uncomfortable positions. It’s made of a soft cotton-like material that feels nice on the skin. There are plenty of pillows to use for support of the extremities. Yeah, it could be much worse. I rather enjoy sleeping on this couch.

My poor bed must feel neglected.

Conveniently Inconvenient

Today was the first day of classes for the second summer session at BSU. I’m taking a geography class to complete my final science requirement. Geography sounded a lot better than chemistry or astronomy.

I don’t think I’ve ever shown up to a class with my book on the first day. During the spring semester I remember being the only person without a book in two of my classes. To make sure this wasn’t the case this semester I woke up early so that I could make my way to the bookstore. To be honest I don’t really care much about being the only person in the class without a book on the first day. The only reason I’m doing this is so that I don’t end up putting it off until the end of the week. There’s nothing worse than dealing with backed up reading assignments 2 weeks into the semester.

On with my story…

Before driving to the bookstore I logged onto the BSU website to find out what book I would need to purchase. The BSU website has a section for students in my particular situation. After all, everyone relies on such conveniences these days right? After writing down what the website recommended I was on my way.

Campus was packed with new students accompanied by their parents. I haven’t seen so many 40 and 50 somethings trying to look hip in a long time. It was as if they were trying to relive their college days and prove to themselves that they are still with the times. There were dolled up moms everywhere I looked. They were armed with their smartphones and large coffees. It was quite entertaining. I could tell by the looks on the faces of their sons and daughters that this was not their typical behavior. It seems that they had a case of orientation fever. The kids are just wanting to get away from home and yet the parents are all about getting the most out of their money. That’s basically the entire college experience in a nutshell for students attending college straight out of high school.

Despite my best efforts to avoid the onslaught of orientation booths I was unable to avoid being treated like a new student. No one seems to notice that BSU has summer classes for students that aren’t new. Ah well, there was no use in resisting… Hell, there’s nothing to gain from resisting… I figured I’d try acting new and try to swindle a free t-shirt or something. Alas, I had no luck.

I managed to navigate my way through various booths of BSU T-shirts (and other crappy merch) to the front of the TIS Bookstore. I nudged my way through a few stray parents hugging their styrofoam containers of leftovers from Scotty’s. As soon as I walked through the doors an intense concentration of air conditioning enveloped me in an icy embrace. I took my time searching for my book so I could absorb as much of their a/c as possible.

As I made my way from the bookstore to class I felt a sense of accomplishment for having not put this off. Sadly, my dreams were about to be shattered. Once I made it to my class and received a copy of the syllabus I discovered that the required text was not what I had purchased. As it turns out, the BSU website had recommended the wrong book for the class I had entered. What a convenient inconvenience! Luckily we didn’t have any reading assignments that would have posed a problem. Class was let out early because it was the first day so I made my way back to the bookstore to exchange books and pay the difference. When I got back to TIS everything went smoothly. I just wish I would have got it right the first time so I wouldn’t have wasted more gas. That shit’s like $4.20/ga now!

I hope you enjoyed reading about my first day of Geography. I know it’s lame but not all news is golden.